Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Just not so pleasurable

When comparing past and present, nothing that boggles my mind more than the anthropological , sexual and cultural behavior of the people of the Middle East.
Not only did ancient Arabs before Islam circled around Mecca bare and naked, but red flags on tents were the symbol and the emblem of women desire and request for sexual intercourse. I pity all the spinsters who hit thirty nowadays and never had any sexual encounter of any sort. I have no idea of how some one do it, I mean not do it, thirty something and never been kissed, maybe the promise of heaven, maybe its part of the package coming from a seclude, innocence-glamorized type of culture!
But more than ancient Arabians, there were the Sumerians, Assyrians, and even Phoenicians women whom due to religious and customary habits, made-available that of their bodies and vaginas to temple gods, to have sex prior marriage!
Compared to nowadays, the first encounter must be with the husband, and those blood splotches are not only important but the evidence of honour! It is crazy that some women not so long time ago, would not even know what exactly sex is, or would not even recognize the physical appearance of a male phallus. A lot will suffer thinking of how they can take such foreign body in their first wedding night, after years of indoctrinated, excessive sexual estrangement!
Did those ancient Middle Easterners thought it was important for women to have training and qualifications before dispatching them as loyal wives? Did quality sex really mattered? What happened!
I have no idea, did men taste change, before maybe they wanted a somewhat experienced women, later virgin and holy was their requirements? Do we only evolve under the male-dominance reign of power which heralds sexual fulfillment to men more than women, hence, four wives. Though I must admit Arabia's red flags did win the title of freedom, liberty in pursuit of sexual pleasures, though some baby girls were all gone under the crime of infanticide.
Now fragments of male-power is still a reality to dissect, Iraq now wants to mimic Kurdistan's move of prohibiting the four wives issue, even though the husband by law has to get the consent of his first wife, but it seems equal rights are somewhat wanted in that country. What is even funny Kurdistan still has problem with honour killing crimes. I guess nothing is perfect for us women! To be political correct Honour Crime is still not only a cultural problem but also a judicial, constitutional problem; maximum sentence is only six months for the murderer father/husband/brother, almost ALL over the Islamic Uma. It must be noted you can not do that in Islam, it is more of a backward cultural disaster that is not constitutionally challenged until now.
Now, here are some goodies I found while browsing
why is it men are mostly the choosers and not women?
“I.196: Of their customs, whereof I shall now proceed to give an account, the following (which I understand belongs to them in common with the Illyrian tribe of the Eneti) is the wisest in my judgment. Once a year in each village the maidens of age to marry were collected all together into one place; while the men stood round them in a circle. Then a herald called up the damsels one by one, and offered them for sale. He began with the most beautiful. When she was sold for no small sum of money, he offered for sale the one who came next to her in beauty. All of them were sold to be wives. The richest of the Babylonians who wished to wed bid against each other for the loveliest maidens, while the humbler wife-seekers, who were indifferent about beauty, took the more homely damsels with marriage-portions.”
And I really pity “ugly women” , and Silver coins can never be rejected, huh, what if she did not want him, oh how holly Ishtar said so!
“I.199: The Babylonians have one most shameful custom. Every woman born in the country must once in her life go and sit down in the precinct of Venus [Ishtar], and there consort with a stranger. Many of the wealthier sort, who are too proud to mix with the others, drive in covered carriages to the precinct, followed by a goodly train of attendants, and there take their station. But the larger number seat themselves within the holy enclosure with wreaths of string about their heads---and here there is always a great crowd, some coming and others going; lines of cord mark out paths in all directions the women, and the strangers pass along them to make their choice. A woman who has once taken her seat is not allowed to return home till one of the strangers throws a silver coin into her lap, and takes her with him beyond the holy ground. When he throws the coin he says these words: "The goddess Mylitta prosper you" (Venus is called Mylitta by the Assyrians.) The silver coin may be of any size; it cannot be refused, for that is forbidden by the law, since once thrown it is sacred. The woman goes with the first man who throws her money, and rejects no one. When she has gone with him, and so satisfied the goddess, she returns home, and from that time forth no gift however great will prevail with her. Such of the women as are tall and beautiful are soon released, but others who are ugly have to stay a long time before they can fulfil the law. Some have waited three or four years in the precinct. A custom very much like this is found also in certain parts of the island of Cyprus."

Oh apparently, ahal Cyprus have tishreeb bagila too in their diet :D

From here

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Making wrong decisions all the time.

So it has been six months or better HALF a year since I came back from the UAE. I can not believe how fast time goes by.
I spent it by applying for jobs, relaxing, and later studying for the GMAT. I was at first quite excited that I returned back, no more traffic jam, ridiculous heat, the conservative Sharjah and their lurking men, bad odors, classicism, and of course to recharge some energy.
I thought my experience I gained in Dubai, will land me a lucrative job in no time, I thought my relationship with everyone will reach to a higher sincere, understanding level.
But here I am, with the prospect of having a promising offer , career wise! But why is it when real things happen I start getting cold feet and not commit to it. I am so immature, now I am thinking of more than ever to return back to Dubai -UAE.
Reasons being are all emotional, and not concrete rationality, I really can not stand my father, again. I am not talking to my elder sister. And I can not stand my youngest sister's immature and childish stupidity. I feel way too old to live with them again, I hate asking for permission to go out, even though my curfew time has expanded with promising liberty.
Though last month was the hardest, I could not stand this town, the people, the redundant everything. The lack of ambition, the unsophisticated people I met, the PHDs immigrants with no jobs, and not much of decent Iraqis either.
I want to flee back, as if I am a refugee, back to the thriving social life, meeting far more successful entrepreneurs and creatives, the lounges, the more Arab guys, Budha Bar, the quality of Iraqis I meet there...I can volunteer while working, the UN has a headquarter there, and there is always something happening.
But why did I leave? I thought I really wanted Canada back. But my apathetic feelings towards Canada submerged and floated like some oblivious trash on the sea shore, such climax happened during my one week stay in Toronto. I felt the lifelessness of my own , maybe I did not meet the right people, but it did not get me or I go it, but again I am measuring things according to feelings, or fake feelings, since the real bonding with places happen through people and real career!
So I started lamenting my utterly stupid decision of coming back, I felt so stupid , after all the hard work, I left my established contacts, and people that have became close to me!
It seems I am just looking for that sense of belonging, I do not want to be negative, but the ground I walk on ever since I left Iraq, has sprouted into my sprigs there and there, and my mind is nothing but a fuzzy, confused, bogged-down, futile instrument of mixed feelings.
Though talked with my mother, it is better to earn what I have just earned and finally get my Canadian job, and then go back with an added Canadian experience to work in the UAE , again!
But I will be 26 something, close to 27, and still with no stability, and jeopardizing the higher probability of meeting the right guy there in the UAE.
In the same time, it is time to settle in and shut the hell up! Though I miss greatly, the social life there, and prospects of me finding a decent Iraqi guy in here is much less compared to Dubai, but again most of my female friends are still single all over the globe.
Maybe, my pillar of conduct should be mere rationality and nothing else, and I really want to marry my career, I have this great thirst to gain career success more than anything else, and sense to toss my prisoner the biological clock out of the window and be free, rational and creative!
The I should circumvent my feelings and fears, and do what I need to do. Maybe that is just maturity.