It was one hot morning, we were walking together on the beach barefooted, wearing the same denim shorts we bought together, and all I feel is peace when I recollect our moments together unifying us in one clamped solitude… we were friends.
The beach that we went to discover together to our surprise was variant in colors to include dirty dark green that reminded me of fungi, beautiful mesmerizing turquoise, and angry dark oceanic blue.
And it was a strange beach that reminded me of how rough life can be, but with some added mysterious beauty, there was nothing gradual about it; the land crust of its shallow shore did not extend its arms much to the faint-hearted, only to have a sudden deep dive almost in less than one meter in some instances, but I loved it.
I hurriedly called off my beach walk with her and took off my shorts and top and swam. But my friend with her wide-brim hat concealing her sensitive skin, kept on walking as she came underprepared for a swim…she did not wear her bottom bikini under the shorts, and despite my many requests that it is ok to swim with the shorts, but she did not.
She enjoyed looking at cute little tiny fishes. Long time ago I used to like the zoo.
We are different, I am crazy and act according to the spur of the moment, and she is this demure lady with low voice and gracious acquiescent smile, but we do meet in many similar moods and modes, and what I like the most, even during our ultimate differences, and complete silence, we enjoy each other’s company, and nothing feels at odd or odd.
But when we called our early morning beach discovery journey to an end to head back to the office, and after settling in her convertible car listening as usual to her great fusion of music collection, we started talking about guys! We discovered our similarity, we have the same taste in men, and did not understand how can George Clooney be rated as ‘hottie’, in addition to his sad dating record of being a womenizer which we both despised.
Yeah, not that everyone should be a monogamous person, and I understand that marriage is not for everyone, its just we both did not like him, and we shared the same bias.
I thought… it was the right moment to further our commitment, and filter our friendship from any girl to girl jealousy. I felt that we needed the talk …of the friendship contract.
“I do not know, if I am going to appear as unromantic, I do not fight about men, because it is a choice, so if he likes you I would not really care, that is life, and people have to move on,” I said.
“Oh no, I would never do that, and I would not go for it,” she replied with concern, however not commenting on the ‘unromantic’ part.
“I am saying this, because I will take my chances, I am sorry,” I said laughingly, adding, “I guess, we can not give each other sex or babies, I can give you 50-75 percent happiness, but how about the rest, so I would want you to be happy, and I expect the same from you.”
“I think you are right, you are being realistic,” she replied.
I overlooked her fast conviction of my argument, but I do understand those eyes of hers, they have this subtle sadness….after all, we are friends that understand each other, but I do understand that nothing is long-term, and I am up for a deep dive any time life needs me to, I thin I grew wiser to believe in the long-term fallacy and in any aspect in life. Maybe, this long-term we define is a set of short-terms, and maybe this long-run we perceive is a set of mutated dramatic short-runs.
My Lack of Everything
10 months ago