Dating and facebook.

Never add or tell a guy you dating that you have a facebook account or that he should acquire one. A guy with no facebook account is a blessing!

Now..Beware! Girls' double standards are on the way, but let me be, god bless feminism :D


Facebookers and them being males is one combination that does not pass the attractiveness test for me, something I have discovered lately but it is such a turn-off! And no matter what their age, status or "maturity" level, they will still be questionable no matter what, especially if they are married, oh how I despise the info filling "married" but interested in "women", despicable!
Adding fuel to fire, Facebook also and somehow takes from the manliness factor and I would rather have him rugged, with automobile oils all over his torn, messy hair, half naked, washed out jeans fixing, some car! Ok I am fantasizing in here, ignore :D

One guy who seem to top the scale of all the guys I have met in the UAE – marriage wise- have joined facebook under the auspices and encouragement of ehem, me…(what was I thinking! ) And it created blackout and a communication gap between us, and only now we are catching up, when it is time for me to go.

Not only he viewed some flirtatious and damn cute remark of a guy I knew from university whom I have long lost in touch with, or a guy I have met randomly in my –real- life and somehow decided out of the blue and at some point to send me a cat icon gift but never bothered to be interested when we met in "real life" but also, guys who think they are my real friends or I am their real friend, and give me a shout of "how am I doing and how are my parents doing?", even if they have never met my parents and do not even know that I have relocated to the UAE a year ago!

Facebook and the internet gives guys the courage to speak out more and communicate with females on a higher level more so than real life, I have two guys (my two main crushes in my life so far) who have admitted likeness to me on the net but they could not have done it real life and these guys are considered personable and strong. But this lack of courage and spontaneous behaviour really makes female lives rather dull and boring.


But really, due to this abrupt, out of no where remarks from obscure guys I have met back in the Richard the Lion times, can deter serious relationships from budding and blossoming.
Facebook really gives my social life a fake "facelift" that I am all about and all going, but it is really fake remarks and comments from people who I did not seen ever since the ice age, that can screw dating potentials by creating mistrust and suspicion.

Nevertheless, it can be a real challenge for the two warring genders, to weave trust from all the fakeness, and even though it created discrepancies with this "potential", it also somehow taught him to trust me.

Double standards

Double standards are everywhere, but I find it most prominent in the Islamic/Arab region.
And it is worst, when people whose most valuable efforts are to give "religious wisdom". Those religious men and women, I find their double standards to be the most irking and frustrating ones, maybe because it appears to be more than hypocrisy!!!

A relative of mine is so religious, he forbids his kids to listen to music, for him it is a big haram, he scrutinizes what his daughters wear before they leave the house just in case something was tight, he switches t.v. whenever there is a song playing, or too much female skin is showing.
He did not buy his daughter the mp3 only when she promised that she will only listen to Quran and anasheed.
One of his sons, a Metallica loving person, and on top of that, he listens to radio music, he as well forbids his sister to listen to music. It feels that such double standard is creating some new found rights under the absentee of the father's knowledge for the son, as well creating further gender biased double standards, though in a very twisted, retarted way.
The son smokes, and his haram doing, is not allowed to be done by his sister, of course she is not interested in that, but they had an argument once, she told him "you do not let me to listen to music but you smoke and listen to music". Of course for him, he is protecting his younger sister and he is being wise, and yeah he smokes about everywhere in their place, how not-selfish!

So back to this relative of mine, he is so strictly religious.

One time he was telling others quite publicly in a family gathering, how his Metallica loving son (of course the dad does not know) had his marks boosted from failure to passing grades.
The relative is a college instructer and his son went to the same school. His son, despite his dad's efforts did not like studying, and he was not keen on even caring to actually pass, though he had the brains but too stupid to use it.

What is so interesting, such "illegal" mark camouflage, appeared as a good will gesture by his other colleague whom he taught his son, my relative Emphasized.

One of the woman sitting, his sister, the auntie of the Metalica loving person, objected for such illegality. Though, her brother, replied rather jockingly "Shasaweela, mawatni, ma yidrus".

Today, the same relative of mine, pokes fun, and it is rather legal mockery type of a joke, of how his wife, now in Canada, buys clothes and return them after a month. Translation, she is using and abusing the system mithil il ma shayifa.
Another distant relative replied "that is not Islamic, she can't do that", the relative is still in mode joke, I did not hear his reply, but the distant relative asked "do they do that often in Canada", the relative of mine, as if he did not believe such quick fix replied: "yes they all do that".
No They do Not, they do not buy a bag full of clothes and return it after one month, hell, the whole shops in Canada would have changed their return policy, maybe the will when there will be more influx of that type of people. So apparently, if the majority does that, then it is fine, it is Culturally acceptable and lies within the "islamic" acceptance of no where it is Haram!!!

Oh, I had a very religious co-worker of mine, I told her the story of the mark-comflage, she also agreed that it is ok!

I guess that’s why the standards in the Islamic Umah is below Zero, or double zero!

The oil money please, my panka is not working!!

Iraq is a hard place to understand, not because chess is a game I do not play, but finding information is not clear and always distilled to tidbits that do not match, well of course, one can easily guess – corruption, but how and why , the ratiocinative to link events are rather missing.

With controversy plaguing the screens, though only within the Iraqi media, I have heard that the Iranians are stealing from Majnoon oil field. The next day, a special reportage appears, flashing my screen, Shahrastany is reassuring.
The reportage heeded by some ministry showing Shahrastany on ground at the Majnoon oil fields, reassuring that everyone is Iraqi and of course oil is Iraqi as well.

Though, how did such allegations happen, why and by whom? Why is their growing mistrust?

Iraq's main income is oil export, yet Iraqis' essential needs are not met, green water or little drops of it, decamp Iraqis' household taps, and electricity shortage is leaving many Iraqis in the dark.
Why is it that our oil revenues are not there to remedy simple needs? Why there have not been real construction efforts despite the government's ardent entrepreneurial invitations of other nations to have business, investments and embassies in Iraq. Why the contradictions?
Why is it that the U.S. taxpayer money has been running the show for reconstruction in Iraq for the past five years.
Why is it that our oil revenues are there in foreign banks. How about priorities Mr. Shahrastani!
Squabbles are there with the ministry of electricity, but why are there excuses for public service men/women not to serve their people at least with minimum essentials.
At least make use of the gas that goes off along with oil when gushed from the ground, why can't they build some gas facilities to cultivate this gas to remedy such needs and Leave alone oil for export purposes as Shahrastani wishes.

Now, there is the senate committee requesting a full accounting of how Iraq is spending its soaring oil revenue.

Of course, Americans have the rights to protect their taxpayers money, which somehow, quite coincidently seeps into Iraq's interests to know why priorities have not been set in Iraq to serve the severely effected populace.
And Yes, of course it is the democrats who signed the committee letter request.
What is so funny, during Bremer's administrations, he hired a certified public accounting firm to ensure proper controls of Iraq's oil, but apparently the contract was not given to an accounting firm but to a – tiny - consulting company, Northstar , its headquarter somewhere in San Diego!

It is them at top when they wish, they can make it right.
I do not think that the Iraqi population is respected.

I am tired of talking about men and women and all tidbits involving them. But there is more. I feel I still have more spillover to vent about.

Inspired by parents, aunties, and all the “wise” elder people, I introduce philosophical and deeply thought - marriage advices, thoughts and reassurances - it competes actually with Jibran Khalil Jibran, Not! (Gilgamish giggles). Help yourself 3aini, they are quite handy ( Gilgamish giggles more).


# 1

تزوجين دكتور حتى لو جان شكلة مثل القرد, المهم دكتور يا بنتيييييييييييييي!

#2
فيترجي, يشتغل ابمكدونالد, ميهم ,ماطول تحبي و مادام عندج شغلج, ابد لا تفرطين ابشغلج!

#3

بتي لو ما جان اكو ظغط من الاهل ما جان اكو اي وحدة ازوجت!


#4

انتي مو شايفة نفسج غير شي, كل البنات جانوا مترددات و خايفات من الزواج!


#5

حلو اذا البنية تزوج عن انجذاب وحب, بس بتي تبقي تنتظرين, اريدج اتكونين سباقة للزمن!

Voooom!

#6
اتزوجي بس ا لتحبي

#7
شحني الرجال, شحني و اتزوجي و توكلي على الله!ماكو احد كامل, هاي الحب حجي افلام!

#8
انتي تكدرين اتغيري, بس بذكاء النسوان همة بصنعون الرباجيل,

#9
النسوان همة و ذكائهم!

#10
الزواج قسمة و نصيب!



So in conclusion, whatever advice or thoughts people give me on relationships or marriages, they all in reflect who they are, what they are looking for and what they have actually carved so far in their own personal discovery or lack thereof.

And its amazing, how such advices can be so contradictory to each other. People's collective nature is not homogenous, viva freedom!


I don't believe in a marriage-formula, as I believe everyone is different, so my advice would be, choose what you think its right for you ;)

Social sciences are hot only in Phds...

Social sciences are hot only in PHDs


I do not know from where to start my complaints. I enjoyed my university classes studying international conflict and its resolutions, microeconomics, and leftist sociology materials that of Marx and why the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer.
I love theory period.

But today while going to my way to the living room, uncle was watching some movie about the American civil war, he asked "the southerners won right?" I mumbled , feeling zero prepared . I did not know the answer , "you have studied that in Uni right?"

I shifted the topic somehow on the American Revolution and how they ousted the Britons, the truth is, I know nothing about the American civil war, and maybe I can say something regarding the 1960s civil unrest, that era is damn interesting, you got the environmentalists, feminists, and the Blacks vying for their rights. And after the 1960s, I can say that the 1970s had one of the coolest fashion styles, alright! Well, the later represents my own latest trend, that I am growing to be more girlier than ever and the fact that I enjoy politics not as a career but to study it and maybe do charity/non-profit work on the side of some actual career of mine. I have shocked myself that I am no where as serious to be part of that. Yes, lets talk about Kant over wine, sure I take him!

And yes, I remember learning about American foreign policy, and now I remember Nothing! Maybe yeah concepts but details, names, strategies, heck I am forgetting it all! And it was an ex-Michigan mayor who taught this class and I scored an A+!!!

I feel my degree was not at all sufficient, or maybe I am suffering from dementia. Its either this or that.

Oooof, and I do remember my economic class, as it was mandatory to take six of em, I remember one of the economic Professors telling us, "this is not an English or a Political Science class, you can not leave one day not studying and catch up with the next class and understand".
He might not be so true, but he has a point, with sciency or solid science degrees, I believe that they are far harder and need far more dedication to get at least a B. And social sciences do not exactly attract the smartest of all students, the girl who won the governor general award during my graduation was an ex-biology major. I must be mean, but I remember one of my sociology professors telling us how to calculate our marks to get our percentages!!!! I felt I was so in the wrong place especially as an ex-computer science major! Damn, my classmates used to ask me about math questions! What a wasted talent there, I am even forgetting my multiplications, its either the degree or that I am getting stupid , really stupid!

No specialization, dementia, with high-heels and girly obsessions, I feel shocked at the state I have reached. And still no carved career and I still feel I have nothing that of expertise or any solid skills to offer.
Oh, and I miss my visual art class, we drew naked people! It was the first time when I saw the holy- it - the penis, I literally thought balls were balls. Good education there I must admit! ;)

Guys and girls ideological schism

The love between men and women, other than the physical attraction, needs some shared mental consensus on many things to keep the ship sailing.

Apparently, girls' number one complain is that guys lack the yin yang balance, they either overly too zealous, religiously or hedonic liberal freaks.

Of course, I have thrown some sensationalism in there, but according to girls, guys are not aligned in the middle to be open, understanding yet having a religious backbone from not doing haram!

However, in my case, I love liberal guys, and I fall in the liberal spectrum, and I can be doing things that can be labeled as hedonic for some Arabs, my number one complain, is that liberal guys are no where to be marriage material.

I do not know if it is religion that makes people more commitment-correct, or that it is the type of personalities whom are attracted to religion are of that archetype.

I can not lie that some aspects of the religious-home-grown guys carry is attractive, such as being a family values type of guy, one can easily have a peaceful, warm, secure picturesque image of him being the father and the husband.

As for the very liberal guys even though that a lot of them can carry great believe in religion, they still have this immature, selfish thing about them, I do not know if it is their crazy love of life that makes them glide through life like playful children. Yes, I truly picture them as amused children, jumping and running freely in green fields and stroll down the mini hills with throbbing hearts.

Does it bottom down to sex? With religious guys' only option is marriage!
How much of sexual freedom does it effect one's commitment and love ability to others?

And another difference I have noticed, most of all the marriage material guys I have met, share one something in common that they are ---boring. Are liberal guys far more adventurous, risk takers in their emotional lives? Does that bring more sophistication, experience and fun to their character?
Though, one atheist dude flashes his existence in my mind, he is damn boring and damn shy!

Another thing I have noticed, liberal guys' expectations tend to be higher compared to the religious guys.
For liberal guys, they can not marry without having sex with that person. Also, religious guys have much lower possibility of cheating compared to the liberal

هلاويس املية......تحية الى امل....

اني مو قشة امل, اني انسان


لا تشلبه بية و انت الغريق شايفني الجواب

بس ممكن اعطيك حب و قوة من تلامس مشاعرنا الانسانية

ممكن نتبادل تلاطف, تسامح, تفاهم انساني.

و لا انت الامل ابدا…. وحريتي ابد ماراح تروي عطشك, لك انت ما تفتهم بس ظيم السجون…
ظيم السجون في العقل,
ظيم السجون في الجسد,

لك لا تنتف ريشي, حتى حمامة سلام ما طرت…

انت ابد مو الامل…..

و لا اي شي الامل, لان اني اسعى و احاول اسوي,

و بقوتي الانسانية لازم همينة تفتهم مدى حريتي,

شايف عزيمتي,
عزيمتي مثل النهر اللي اريدها اتصب ابحرك

لك شلال حب احبك, بس من انت تكون انسان

تره اني حره

للك اني احبك

بس من اتحط السجون لان انت….

امي
ابوية
اختي
صديقي , صديقتي
زوجي, عشيقي

مهما انت… كنت

و مهما كل العلاقات, انت مو الامل

بس من مشاعرنا الانسانية

قبل المشاعر الصداقية
….
الجنسية….. القرابية

تره,

نبضي و نبضك اللي نحسة جوة , همة بس الامل

من اتشوفني انسان و اني اشوفك انسان.

ترة اني مو قشة امل و لا حلم بس بشر،

تعال باوع بعيوني,

من تشوفني

حرة و انسانة …يلة تعال تجي تكلي اني الامل!

لان الامل انسان,

الامل انسان,

لا مره متهسترة
و لا رجال مستهتر
و لا زعل من هل ولد العم

الامل انسان,
و شغل انسان حر….

كلبي اخ حس الامل..

يا نبض…

اني مو قشة امل, اني انسان.