Monday, March 17, 2008

Double standards

Double standards are everywhere, but I find it most prominent in the Islamic/Arab region.
And it is worst, when people whose most valuable efforts are to give "religious wisdom". Those religious men and women, I find their double standards to be the most irking and frustrating ones, maybe because it appears to be more than hypocrisy!!!

A relative of mine is so religious, he forbids his kids to listen to music, for him it is a big haram, he scrutinizes what his daughters wear before they leave the house just in case something was tight, he switches t.v. whenever there is a song playing, or too much female skin is showing.
He did not buy his daughter the mp3 only when she promised that she will only listen to Quran and anasheed.
One of his sons, a Metallica loving person, and on top of that, he listens to radio music, he as well forbids his sister to listen to music. It feels that such double standard is creating some new found rights under the absentee of the father's knowledge for the son, as well creating further gender biased double standards, though in a very twisted, retarted way.
The son smokes, and his haram doing, is not allowed to be done by his sister, of course she is not interested in that, but they had an argument once, she told him "you do not let me to listen to music but you smoke and listen to music". Of course for him, he is protecting his younger sister and he is being wise, and yeah he smokes about everywhere in their place, how not-selfish!

So back to this relative of mine, he is so strictly religious.

One time he was telling others quite publicly in a family gathering, how his Metallica loving son (of course the dad does not know) had his marks boosted from failure to passing grades.
The relative is a college instructer and his son went to the same school. His son, despite his dad's efforts did not like studying, and he was not keen on even caring to actually pass, though he had the brains but too stupid to use it.

What is so interesting, such "illegal" mark camouflage, appeared as a good will gesture by his other colleague whom he taught his son, my relative Emphasized.

One of the woman sitting, his sister, the auntie of the Metalica loving person, objected for such illegality. Though, her brother, replied rather jockingly "Shasaweela, mawatni, ma yidrus".

Today, the same relative of mine, pokes fun, and it is rather legal mockery type of a joke, of how his wife, now in Canada, buys clothes and return them after a month. Translation, she is using and abusing the system mithil il ma shayifa.
Another distant relative replied "that is not Islamic, she can't do that", the relative is still in mode joke, I did not hear his reply, but the distant relative asked "do they do that often in Canada", the relative of mine, as if he did not believe such quick fix replied: "yes they all do that".
No They do Not, they do not buy a bag full of clothes and return it after one month, hell, the whole shops in Canada would have changed their return policy, maybe the will when there will be more influx of that type of people. So apparently, if the majority does that, then it is fine, it is Culturally acceptable and lies within the "islamic" acceptance of no where it is Haram!!!

Oh, I had a very religious co-worker of mine, I told her the story of the mark-comflage, she also agreed that it is ok!

I guess that’s why the standards in the Islamic Umah is below Zero, or double zero!


Muhannad said...

Excellent post! I am also embarrassed by these double standards.

Muhannad said...
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Abbas Hawazin said...
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Gilgamish said...
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Gilgamish said...

Muhannad, thanx.

Abbas, I found your comment to be quite offensive, if you do not have anything positive to say, then do ot say it, and leave my uncles from your comment.

Average American said...


I do understand the double standard. It really isn't right, but, my sister was treated harsher than my brothers and I and that is in the U.S. and we are Christian. Girls, after all are the ones that can get pregnant, not the boys. I know that is a poor excuse, but it is what my father believed.

The son getting better grades than he deserved taught him absolutely nothing positive. He only cheated himself.

The wife bringing stuff back after a month is not stealing--but it is close to stealing. Would Allah approve of this practice? I doubt it. This is the kind of issue that should not require a religious leader to answer. Common sense dictates that it is WRONG!!


Gilgamish said...

"This is the kind of issue that should not require a religious leader to answer. Common sense dictates that it is WRONG!!"

true, it can come down to culture, however, i find such double standards to be far more thriving in environments where both relg. and culture are important. there are things that blur logic and common sense.

Abbas Hawazin said...

sorry, jus' kiddin'.

Gilgamish said...

Abbas its all cool :)Have a great day :)

Ames said...

Interesting post....raises many issues that we, as a society encounter..especially double standards between the two genders (female & male)

However - I'd like to make the point regarding "females are the ones that fall pregnant"
It takes two to tango and men have to also respect the rights of a female. If men were allow to continue to be arrogant towards females - we'd end up with situations where females are emotionally and physically raped.

If we continue to apply double standards - instead of moving forwards, we're taking steps backwards!

I'm not really religious due to the fact that religion is interupted according to the reader...dont believe me - try having a group discussion after reading an article together...see how many answers you would get.