Tuesday, August 01, 2006

It is just the pain.

My “friend”

She is tall, witty, sassy, manipulative, free-spirited, smart, blue-eyed pretty gal , and with more double standards when it comes to female rights and duties, she despises house wife work, and believes in working, and hates laziness, yet she demands men to be rich enough to spend on her, she also, have boy toys from time to time, she offers sex and they, or hes buy her and to her other friends – at times drinks, it was totally helpful when her boy toy paid for all of our drinks, that was totally relieving for such poor person I am.

Having said that, I love her, and she is my friend, she is raised from a totally different culture than I am, she has imperfections, yet there is something that draws me to her, I mean, she herself said, that she is no good with men, but good with friends.

I remember the other time when we went out, B was the first person to show up, and then she came late, she had a sudden funeral to attend, anyways, she brought with her a philosopher professor at our university, like any philosopher student, graduate, or professor, he looked like a beggar from the street, it is not something to be ashamed from, but that is the way it is with philosophy people, they hardly dress nice. He was a nice guy, but no, he was not her boy toy, he is a philosophy prof so he gota be smarter from some woman’s intentions, and it was totally unexpected, I just don’t like it when people bring along people I do not know, especially if they are gray and old, I would not mind hot guy, I sound horrible, but yeah I wana live my age, but he is nice nevertheless, and a nice person to have a conversation with, but since she could not suck money from, she called the boy toy, a totally easy prey, he was a divorcee wanting some
Companionship, he looked vulnerable, because he looked like that he wanted her badly, even though at times she belittled him, he took everything in, he wanted sex, it was apparent, and she wanted money, and yes, he paid everything – for all our drinks, and yes friends with boy toys are good, and I lost my conscious at that moment, I need some spiritual guideness I suppose.
But then again, here comes Dad, and yes I mean it, her dad comes in the bar to join us, and inside me I was shocked, and I did not want any old grandpas around, I understand that my friend is her in early thirties, but common, I thought I would be with people I know and from my generation, but that is just beside the moment. She flirted with her boy toy in front of her dad’s eyes, he was fine with that, I mean he impregnated many women and left my friend when she was just a baby, just recently they are together, but when I looked at him, I could see from where my friend gets some of her quirks, especially, the inability to settle down and commitment.
So she was flirting with that boy toy, she was sitting on one of those bar’s stool, and he was sitting on an adjacent, nearby table and she was doing some stuff with her leg, and he started touching the legs, holding her thighs, and then some mild kissing followed, all in front of the daddy ------ it was a cultural shock for me, after six years in Canada I thought no more shocks or surprised will be in my way, but this was.
But I did not care, honesty between daughter and father is better than anything else, so it was me, B, the philosopher guru, and the daddy talking, somehow we started talking about religions, and B suggested that all religions have some kind of higher diety that go for, and it has many names, but it is all the same, and then the conversation carried on about the prophets, and then about prophet Mouhamed, and then about angels, her dad was telling us the prophet’s Mouhamed life story and how the prophet tried to commit suicide, and I was lost for words, I just wondered from where did he get this info from, weird, weird , STRANGE, so I told him what I know, but he kept on talking, you know an old man! And then the conversation carried on a different route, and about family, and how family is important, even though B shrugged off, it seems that my friend’s dad regretted of what have he done, leaving daughters and daughter behind, it seems that it is his repenting time, yeah no suicide and such, and he looked good for a person who is recovering from alcoholism!
But then it was time to go, the bar was closing, the boy toy wanted the daughter to stay with him, and SURPRISINGLY the dad objected, in my mind I was thinking, why the hell he wants to object now, it seems that all men have this thing, or all daddies have this thing, but in their case, such objection is way more mild than others, but she ended up going with the boy toy.
Before the daddy was leaving, I was not concentrating, but I cached him saying to us and was referring to me, that he has “ a real rush on Islam”, my friend laughed in a very embarrassed way, he exited the bar, and then he comes back, saying I think as far I remember, that he forgot to say good bye, and so he was saying bye to everyone, and then my turn was a kiss on my cheek, I did not utter any word, he is an old man anyways, but a horny old man, and B cried saying “here you go sister, it was for the kiss”, I ignored, acted as if nothing has happened, but what the hell!!!!!

So I did not think about anything, and life moves on. About more than a week ago, I left a voice msg to my friend to touch bases with her, she usually calls after, but then, she did not. I thought she might be busy and that she was not embarrassed about her dad behavior, but then I called B today, and apparently he talked with my friend a couple of days ago, weird that she did not reply my msg, can she face me! She always have been image conscious, in one of her drunken state, when we were together in the Irish pub, she told me that she was glad she came from an upper, high class Irish clan, she added, that is one of the good things that her dad gave her.
There was also, at one point in our relationship where our cultural background made us misunderstand each other, she thought that I made a high-esteem of my culture and she did look envious when my dad paid one of my semesters, and I also, accused her that she can’t impose western explanations on Middle Easter culture, but we worked our misunderstanding, and we thought of writing papers of how our cultures interact with each others and how we are the same. But she still, does not like people to doubt any ability or status of hers, in the matter of fact, she stopped attending one class of ours, just because the prof asked her a question that she did not know.

Is she going to be the same warm person to me, why is she not calling me back, but her dad had always poured more physiological issues on her, in the matter of fact, I think she not wanting to be married is that she can’t trust men, and that because of her dad!

And I just think, people should not cloth their cultures with their pains, their pains is individualistic and not an absolute reflection of how refined their culture is, she knew well, how my parents were strict with me, I was not ashamed of telling her about my restriction and se should not be with her issues.

But isn’t that all contemplations, I hope so, and I hope I will hear from her soon.


Meemo said...

I didnt read this post yet, but I dont kno ho to answer ya back just by this way.......
yes, therez 2 or 3 iraqi heavy metal bands, but I dont have all thier sites, you can check this one www.saddamsfamily.com, its iraqi heavy metal band, and its really rocks, about metallica, its a thrash metal band, and u kno maybe we hav diffrent bad moods, 'cause I listen to it when I feel kinda u kno good, u can say wya al'3da :D, but with really bad mood we have slayer, childern of bodom, and alotta other bands, and death metal is not for all people I guess its just for sorta of crazy people, dont you think?? anyways thanks a million for your comments, and its really cheered me up, can I add ur Blog to ma blog list, u kno wut I mean, blogs that I read??

Gilgamish said...


sure you can add me :)
I hear alot about Slayer, I think I will check their music out when i have the time.

yala take care :)

zmanutdz said...

I cant see the link between heavy metal and the article. Loool.

6 years in Canada and that level of English and this nice writing styel. WOW.

Gilgamish said...


meemo is supposed to reply me in his blog but he decided to reply in here....ba3ad heavey metal fan and its cool :D

And after your compliment, i re-read what i wrote briefly and i discovered an error lol
well, i've left Iraq for the past eleven years, started learning and then speaking English at the age of 14, and i am thinking of blogging about my experience, bcz there are alot of talk about writing skills in the blogsphere, one blogger has some kind of obsessions about any writing errors....i do not like arrogant ppl to be honest with you.....:D Bas shukran :)

bas agool, li7ad il 2an ma 7ad 3ala8 3ala lib il mawothoo3.

Maxxed`ouT said...

lib el mawdu3 ...........
Well i wanna say sthg ..
I'm just not sure what it is !

zmanutdz said...

Well, I think we both agree that the word ' family ' has a very different meaning between the two cultures. Your friend seems to be a typica Irish person. She is living her life in her own way, having her own standards and doing whatever she likes. I wont blame her really.

She maybe going through a tough time psychologically because of her Dad and past experiences.

Frankly speaking, I dont know why she would not return your call. What happened with her Dad dont seem very serious to me. Really, it all seems confusing to me.

It is normal to be surprised about your upbringing, they cant comprehend the way Iraqis raise their children. maybe it is a clash of cultures at an individual level here.

Really your post has too many things, yenradilha ga3da ow chai 3alamood tikmal.

Gilgamish said...

"Frankly speaking, I dont know why she would not return your call. What happened with her Dad dont seem very serious to me. Really, it all seems confusing to me."

what you said is just so interesting to me. It seems bcz of her background and her character, the assumption is that she does not care of what her dad's remarks and stuff, but me knowing her, i've raelized that she as one type of a western one, very similiar to the attitude and reaction of an eastern one. I think she is embaressed just like any other girl from any background, but she knows her dad an alcoholic, tomorrow i will call her (hope to catch her) and see what is going on.

"Really your post has too many things, yenradilha ga3da ow chai 3alamood tikmal."

E i know, bas sha goolak, when i feel alot about so many things, i just write it down, that is why there are so many themes in my post, i mean i was kind of shocked about the daddy being there...really strange....

and yeah it needs ga3da o chai. bas chai abu il hayl :D