Saturday, August 12, 2006

Of everything random, my biases and poetry.

Lately, especially after me regaining my freedom, I have been going to the underground poetry readings that I used to go, these poetry readings used to be good, they used to thriving with talent, one of the regular readers was an English professor at my university, he actually used to read some of his erotic poetry, and the audience were either his own students or other students whom he will eventually dash into one way or another at our uni’s campus, and I was one of them. He has no shame, and I like that, well, he served his role as an Art’s guru that of free expression.
But now, oh wow, the recurrent use of the “F” word and other vulgarity, makes me doubt this cult’s ability in articulating their feelings in more refined stanzas and creatively, I am not against the “F” word per se, it is just too much use of the word, hinders one’s ability that of limited usage of words, or imaginative metaphors, a poet can use, instead of the “F+ing”.
Now, there are no English profs, much less number of people, few talented people, many people have left, and the poetry standard has gone really bad, the other day, only three people read their poems, and it is just so full of “Fs”
Probably my freedom ticked in the wrong direction, and I opened the wrong door, and entered in the wrong time, I want to live the memories, when I had to go back home before twelve, I used to sweat, even though it was icy cold in midst of the Canadian winter, my dad used to give me, one hell of a time, scaling me and calling me a “bitch”, even though I was pure and never thought of anything else, other than caring about my feelings, I wanted people to know the feelings in my poetry that I read for them, I wanted to be in touch with every human soul, not in my cage, isolated between four walls. I remember, during one poetry reading of mine, it was starting at eleven thirty, and I really, really wanted to read one poem of mine, but time was not generous, I told the girl in charge of who is after who, I told her, I need to go first or second, I don’t have time, I read it, and I went back home.

Sad life, my life was. Everything was a struggle. I had to earn my time and my freedom.

Me friends with my dad is something I have to be given as a credit to, being the person I am, was and still a struggle of my own.

Getting in touch with what makes me, took another round in poetry, I remember having my walk with my sister and one of my sister’s good friends, a guy from Algeria, he told me once, that in no way English poetry can be measured with Arabic poetry, he told me that Arabic poetry has way more depth into it. At first time, I did not quite believe him, but somehow, longing for my roots, made me flip pages, and pages of Arabic poetry, with all the protest, politically-edged, non-conformists, slam poetries, and Shakespeare I have read, or heard, nothing, nothing can come to this:

أحمد شوقي


وطني لو شغلت بالخلد عنه

نازعتني إليه في الخلد نفسي!




أبي القاسم الشابي:

إذا الشعب يوما إراد الحياه فلا بد أن يستجيب القدر

و لا بد لليل أن ينجلي ولا بد للقيد أن ينكسر

I feel the depth, and it is giving me goose bumps. Or probably, I should read more English poetry. I dunno. I just dunno.

8 comments:

zmanutdz said...

'especially after me regaining my freedom '. Regaining your freedom? Did you move out or you are referring to finishing your studies.

I agree about the ' F's ' in the poetry, it has the potential to ruin everything if used excessively.

'Probably my freedom ticked in the wrong direction, and I opened the wrong door, and entered in the wrong time',I dont get you here?

I am not sure about your Dad's treatment and the use of 'bitch'. I dont see anything wrong about reading poetry and coming home late.

'Sad life, my life was. Everything was a struggle. I had to earn my time and my freedom' But your life is moving in the right direction, the struggle is over and you earned your freedom. Rejoice in thy new free life.

Arabic poetry is truly amazing, by the way there is erotic arabic poetry if you look hard enough.

P.S.: Too many themes that will each require 2000 words to explain. My head gets filled after midway through. :)

Gilgamish said...

zmanutdz,

No, i did not move out and no i am not referring to my studies. ma biya 7ail explain :D

"I agree about the ' F's ' in the poetry, it has the potential to ruin everything if used excessively."

it is not about excessiveness, mu kul wa7id yigdar ijibha ib makanha il sa7ee7, except for one prof of mine, he used to swear, but never looked bad, and it is also, if all the poets u hearing are using it, it will be too commmon and not so shocking, it will lose its supposed impact.

"I dont see anything wrong about reading poetry and coming home late."

u r not my dad and u dont c it wrong, so i have no problem with you, adopt me if you can, jk :D

"Arabic poetry is truly amazing, by the way there is erotic arabic poetry if you look hard enough."

It is, i think i want to read more romantic arabic poetry, its just has its impact, at one point, i lost interest in writing poetry in english, i tried arabic, but oh boy, i need to work on so many things :D 7ateh il shi3ir il 7ur , ila 8awa3deh.


"P.S.: Too many themes that will each require 2000 words to explain. My head gets filled after midway through. :)"

i think it should be classed more as diary, all the links is in my head, sorry, i will write things more bloggable in the future, and i was too tired, i just wanted to rant and talk about what i want.

u know...sometimes i blog in my head, and then i have time, things go away...i need a recorder, after all i want to write :)

zmanutdz said...

'adopt me if you can, jk :D', 'u know...sometimes i blog in my head' ,

I have the best solution, I will adopt you and so have easy access to your brain. Shall I prepare the paperwork, :)

Gilgamish said...

"I have the best solution, I will adopt you and so have easy access to your brain. Shall I prepare the paperwork, :) "

my brain is too busy nowdays, not a fun place to be in anways, find a better brain will you !:D

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